Empty Nest Syndrome: How to Cope, When to Seek Help

Chances are good that you have at least one employee who may be a candidate for empty nest syndrome – the loneliness and sadness that many parents feel when their grown children leave home. However, your employees may not know how to manage these feelings, which can turn into more extreme forms of depression. To help your employees who may be struggling with empty nest syndrome, ADP TotalSource provides access to a comprehensive Employee Assistance Program (EAP).

What is empty nest syndrome, and who does it affect?

Empty Nest Syndrome (ENS) is the term used to refer to feelings of sadness and identity loss that occur when grown children leave the family home, whether temporarily or permanently. Evidence suggests that parents – especially mothers – whose lives were intensely focused on their children are especially vulnerable.

The syndrome was widespread in previous generations when most mothers stayed at home full time, because these women’s primary identities were linked to their maternal family roles. Mothers today, however, often work outside the home, helping them to blend personal fulfillment and family responsibilities. In addition, today’s women have more avenues to pursue their individual interests, goals, and identities. Even so, empty nest syndrome continues to affect families.

Keeping ENS from turning into depression

The good news is that the effects of empty nest syndrome can be minimized by looking at it as a predictable life passage, instead of an affliction. The most effective strategy for coping with empty nest syndrome is for parents to develop individual identities long before their children are ready to leave home. Parents, especially mothers, should identify individual interests and goals that don’t involve the family, and then make time for those ventures. Married parents should also nurture their own relationship, apart from their children, to ensure that their marriage prospers as their offspring leave home.

Once grown children leave the family home, parents should know what feelings to anticipate. There may be relief at having privacy and personal time; sadness that the child is leaving, and/or emptiness due to the absence of daily responsibility for the child. Often, there is also worry – for the child’s safety and happiness, and about the fact that the parent is aging.

When to seek help

If an employee senses that the sadness and sense of loss of empty nest syndrome may overflow into full-blown depression – perhaps to the point of interfering with his or her performance on the job, then professional counseling may be in order. The employee should call the toll-free Employee Assistance Program hotline at 800-756-5792 for information, referrals and emergency help. The EAP delivers confidential counseling and referrals to employees and their dependents who are dealing with mental health issues and other life challenges. The hotline is open around the clock and services are provided in partnership with an extensive network of independent, licensed mental health professionals. From the employee’s initial call forward, all information is kept strictly confidential.

As part of the EAP, ADP TotalSource also provides your managers and supervisors with reference materials and help developing back-to-work strategies. Empty nest syndrome, while a real issue for parents of grown children, can be managed to keep your employees and your organization as healthy and profitable as possible.

Back to The Source Newsletter Archive